We are too internally fragile to reveal that we have been knocked. The insult to our pride and dignity feels too great. That is, we simultaneously get very upset while refusing to explain to the person who has upset us what the problem might be. There are three methods which indicate emotionally immature behaviour (we might grade ourselves on a scale of 1-10 according to our propensities). When someone on whom we depend emotionally lets us down, disappoints us, or leaves us hanging and uncertain, what is our characteristic way of responding? In order to assess our own and others’ emotional development, we can make use of a single deceptively simple question that quickly gets to the core of our underlying emotional ‘age’. We can be fifty-five on the outside and four and a half in terms of our impulses and habitual manner of communicating – just as we can be on the threshold of adulthood physically while an emotional sage within. ![]() One of the more puzzling aspects of the way we’re built is that our emotional development does not necessarily or automatically keep pace with our physical growth.
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